Go USA

How can you take these guys serious????

David Stern's Puppet Show

It has been a while since the last post. The Rockets series really took it out of us. But, glad to see them gone.

But we are back, with one post and one post only about the L.A. Fakers. I believe that everyone has a destiny. Often times, we make decisions that could alter or affect the end result. However, David Stern, being the omnipotent commissioner he is, is taking it upon himself to successfully bring the Lakers and Celtics into the Finals once again. Even Laker sports writers see it.

Click here to see what Laker writers are saying about it

When Stern was asked, what would it be like to get those two teams in the finals again, he simply smiled like a moron. He wants it. So, (I hate to say this) but sorry to Hornets, Spurs, Pistons, Magic, Cavs, and Jazz. You are battling more than your opponents. You are fighting The Man of the NBA (National Betting Association)...

Please join us in calling the season good after your team is out. No more watching this Puppet Master doing his thing.

(Click on picture to make it larger)

And the crying continues

Wa, wa, wa, wa, wa, wa. . . . Poor Rick Adelman and T-Choke. . . . . Do they ever give credit to there opponents or do they always make excuses and cry??

Adelman wants the NBA to look at what he considers the Wrestlemania-type tactics that have limited McGrady's success, especially in the fourth quarter.

"You have to look at the tape and send it in to the league," Adelman told the Houston Chronicle. "Hopefully, they will look at it and say, 'This isn't right.' But for the most part, that's asking someone else to do what you have to do. You have to respond."

Kyle Korver says it very well in this quote:

"I think we are playing him physical," Korver said, "but we're not playing him dirty. I think it's just a bunch of complaining. But whatever. They can say whatever they want to say but we're not hitting 'em with flagrant fouls. . . . We're just playing physical. We're just playing hard"

Oh T-Choke, its pronounced "Derrin" but I figure after he sends you home packing for the second straight year you will probably learn how to say his name correctly. Oh and by the way, how many times have you been to the Conference Finals??? Or even out of the first round?? That right Deron has done both. Enjoy the offseason.

Well at least T-Choke is on the cover of a video game - - NBA Live 00-08 (The Non-Playoff Edition. If you use T-Choke's team you can't make it out of the first round)

Or you could try this game out - Yao makes a wonderful fishing guide.


And dont forget to watch the remake of Rush Hour 3 - It was filmed in early spring of 2007, when T-Choke and Yao had nothing to do. They will make a sequel in early May 2008 once they exit the playoffs early once again.

60 Percent

60% shooting at the foul line will get you a home court loss in the opening round of the playoffs. I think Carlos Boozer and Andrei Kirilenko were thinking they were in the wrong profession last night when they stood at the foul line - This is more representative of the way Carlos and Andrei looked at the charity stripe last night -

With that being said: the Jazz played a terrible, terrible game, and only lost by 2 points. We will look for a big bounce back game on Saturday night and will let Carlos and AK redeem themselves at the free throw line as well.

Here are a few other statistics that represent 60% -
-More Than 60 Percent of Arabs OK Violent Response to Western Interference
-Foreclosures up 60 percent on year
-Nearly 60 Percent of Counties Report Meth as Largest Drug Problem
-60 percent of South Carolina Tattoo artists tested were infected with hep C
-60 % of young Americans, ages 18-24, can't locate Iraq on a map of the Middle East
-60 percent of Americans are worried about bird flu
-'60 percent of what you say is crap'
-60 Percent of Doctors Reject Darwinism
-About 60 percent of chicken genes have close cousins in human DNA
-60 Percent Of Women Get Lap Dances
-EAT OILY FISH ONCE A WEEK AND REDUCE YOUR RISK OF ALZHEIMER’S BY 60 PERCENT. MAYBE.
-60 Percent Of Americans Are Commie Socialists

Did you know: Sixty is a composite number with divisors 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 10, 12, 15, 20, 30, making it also a highly composite number. Because 60 is the sum of its unitary divisors (excluding itself), it is a unitary perfect number. Being ten times a perfect number, 60 is a semiperfect number.

Wide Open from 15 Feet

We promised to not bore you with a lot of reading, but this is a vent. Pick a number between 1 and 100....................how does "60" sound? More specifically, 60.6, as in 60.6%. When you you get 33 free throw attempts in a game and convert on 20 of those, you cannot expect to win.


In usual T-choke fashion, he disappeared in the 4th quarter. However, he got bailed out because of our "money" players.

AK's line - 5 points, 2 rebounds, 1 block, 4 turn overs and 4 fouls. He makes "roughly" $165,000 per game.

(5 points) x ($24,500 per point) = $122,500
(2 rebounds) x ($15,500 per rebound) = $31,000
(1 block) x ($11,500 per block) = $11,500

I would rather invest in landfills in New Jersey.

Ideas for Rockets players on how to spend their summer

We are trying to help the Rocket's players out and give them some ideas on how to spend the rest of there summers - Here are a few suggestions -


Mutombo could try being a spokesman for Depends . . . .



Rafer, Dikembe, Rudy T, and Stevie Francis could try opening up a fishing expedition retreat....




Yao could see what Carny life is all about.......

Scola, Shane Floppier and Rick Adelman could try and keep the water safe for all to swim in....

T-Choke: The Magician now playing at Circus Circus in Las Vegas. (thanks to http://jazzfanz.com/)

Adelman needs to practice this phrase "Would you like to Biggie size that?"

That or "Welcome to Wal-Mart!"

But on thing is for sure - Darth Mutombo should not try and play professional softball.......

Mutombo isn't welcome on my company softball team

Check out this wonderful melody....

Wa Wa Wa Wa

You can hear it 1,450 miles away - the Houston Rockets and its whining fan base still crying. Look at the amount of crying that there is out there, and its not just the Houston fans, its the local media and players as well. Take a look for yourself.

Channel 11 - KHOU

Jonathan Feigen - Houston Chronicle

Rick Adelman & T-Choke

Houston Fans

More Rockets Fans

More Rockets Fans Blaming the Officials and not T-Chokes 1 Point Performance In The 4th Quarter

T-Choke Whining Yet Again

There is just a small taste of the crying and complaining that T-Choke and his fans have displayed. Ask yourself this question - was it a foul? The answer from all of the national media and analysts - YES. Funny thing is they fail to mention that on the play before that Shane (Flop) Battier hacked AK two plays prior while AK was going for the rebound, no call. The following Jazz possession Scola got a rebound and proceeded to step out of bounds, no call. Oh T-Choke and crew also failed to mention the fact that Aaron (Chris Rock wannabe) Brooks put on a full on football style block on D-Will in the third quarter, no call. Do you hear D-Will whining? Sure don't.

Rockets fans, when you have one of the biggest flopper's in the league in Battier you have no room to complain. Also, we wont even go on about how T-Choke flops all over the court every play, and if he gets looked at wrong he gets a call from the officials. So Houston lets keep the crying to a minimum next game ok.

What is D-Will's response to all of this crying?

"If they are going to say they lost because they couldnt hit shots, and don't give us credit for our defense, then we missed a lot of lay-ups and therefore should have won by 20 instead. If that is what they want to say."

Dont mention the fact that your were misrable at the free throw line. Or the fact that T-Choke disappeared in the 4th quarter, no that was definately not the reason you lost Houston. Keep placing blame everywhere else. This look from Darth Mutombo says it all:

Pictures Can Say A Thousand Words

Will somebody please tell Bobby Jackson that it is much easier to play basketball when you don’t have a Viking hat on and clock around your neck.

Don't you worry Skip 2 My Lou, we haven't forgotten about you.




Rafer, now are you trying to get the officials to give you special treatment?

Ultimately, the Houston Rockets will soon be the first playoff team to go fishin with Kenny and Charles.

Here are some of our favorite pictures we have found, thanks to http://jazzfanz.com/.

Locked on the Utah Jazz

If your looking for some good insight on the Utah Jazz there is none better than the views of David Locke. Take a minute to enter the mind of Locke.

-What to look for in Game 2
-Keys For Game 1's Victory
-Locke's 1320 Blog

Breaking News- T-Mac Releases New Rap Album!

It is T-Mac's first rap album and we are happy to be breaking the news about it. He is merely following in the footsteps of other great NBA rappers such as Shaq Diesel, Ron "Tru Warrior" Artest and Troy Hudson.

This album features 10 great hits including:

1. I Can't Get No...(Round 2 Action) featuring The Rolling Stones
2. Chump, Chump featuring Kris Kross
3. Can't Get Enough of 37% Shooting, Babe featuring Barry White
4. Three Missed 3's and One Assist featuring The Beastie Boys
5. I Couldn't Get On Fire featuring Billy Joel
6. You Give Houston A Bad Name featuring Bon Jovi
7. Oops, I Missed It Again featuring Britney Spears
8. The Jazz Will Go On featuring Celine Dion
9. Cry Me a River (The Original) featuring Justin Timberlake
10. Two Tickets to Game 3 & 4 featuring Eddie Money

Way to do to your team what your album title says you did..... (see 1:14-1:40)

Give a shout out to the other Jazz site...

Jazz Fans Stick Together

Click on the link above to see what our fellow Jazz fans have brewing....

Choke on this for a while...

Webster-Merriam-

choked, chok·ing, chokes

1. To have difficulty in breathing, swallowing, or speaking.

2. To become blocked up or obstructed.

3. Sports To shorten one's grip on the handle of a bat or racket. Often used with up.

4. To fail to perform effectively because of nervous agitation or tension, especially in an athletic contest: choked by missing an easy putt on the final hole.
5. Tracy McGrady and the rest of the Rockets

noun; "Tracy, you are a choke"
adjective: "Tracy, you are a choke artist"
verb: "Tracy was busy choking in the 4th quarter of Game 1"

Jazz beat the Rockets to take a 1-0 Series Lead

Yup, not that we are that surprised, but Utah defeated Houston to win tonight 93-82 in Houston.

Player of the game definitely has to go to Andre "Ivan Drago" Kirilenko. Tonight, he must break Houston... and he did with this nice stat line:

21 points on 66% shooting, 4 rebounds, 3 assists, 2 steals and 1 block. It is nice to have that kind of production from AK instead of the crying we got last year.

Also, Houston, just thought you should know, it is going to be much harder to win without the Jazz blowing these kinds of opportunities this year...

http://youtube.com/watch?v=ZYKy16Do6cA

Game 1 Tonight... Jazz go up 1-0

And as an added bonus, we have Tracy McGrady to show us how to be an NBA Superstar. Thanks for the tips T-Mac!!!

Also, Mr. Shane Battier shows us his new look (I think it is an improvement, don't you?

Fight fire with fire...

Welcome to the blog strictly designed for the teams the Utah Jazz are going to pummel in the playoffs in 2008. Our featured team this week is the Houston Rockets...aka, The First Round Flops, T-Choke, The Knicks of The West (in addition to the Denver Thuggets), and Sleepy Eyes Alston.

We will not bore you with much dialog in this blog. We want pictures only. Please be creative and send them to utahjazzfans2008@gmail.com. I also invite hate mail from the weak and low Rocket fans.

We have tried posting pictures on an anti-Jazz site (see http://bbs.clutchfans.net/showthread.php?t=146831&page=1&pp=20), and the moderators will not allow us access. Thus....the blog.

Be sure to click on the picture to see them with better clarity...

Enjoy and go JAZZ!!!!!!
click here
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Hey Dikembe.....
Please raise your hand and show us how many more years until you can qualify for Medicare-

Thanks.

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“Right this way Mr. Mutombo…. Don’t you worry… we will take good care of you here. We have BINGO night, Shuffle Board, and if you are good…we will make you an Ensure Shake with plenty of fiber...”

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Ever wonder what Yao has been up to these days?

You know...just making a few extra $$$

He is also trying out his luck as a model. . . . Which, as you can see, isnt going very well.

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We are happy to announce that there has been a Yao sighting in Houston. According to early reports Yao has been hired by the front office as the official manicure and pedicure specialist - Hey if you can win you might as well look good in defeat! (Special Thanks to Jed on this Picture)

On another note, there are conspiracy theorists that say Yao's injury was faked because he in fact is a female and became pregnant and gave birth. . . I dont know, judge for yourself.....

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What has T-Choke been up to since he guaranteed a first round playoff win in 2007? Lets take a look......

Well after a lot of crying.......................

And even more crying...............................

And even more crying.........................................


He decided to come back for his 11th season to try and crack the first round, but we can all guess how that is going to end.

Failure, just like we are used to with T-Choke.

Better luck next year Houston.

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O

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Nothing says "I am a Rockets fan" like singing.....
This left me speechless. This does not happen too often. This may be funny to some, but to normal people (Jazz fans), this was tooooo much.

How To Be A Rockets Fan 101
(Click link above)